One day I was talking to my friend about infertility, and trying to explain to her, someone who has never known the sting of infertility, and she said it sounds like God's idea of a Practical Joke. And we laughed about it and moved on, but since then whenever those feelings from infertility come up I just laugh and think of it that way. ( I hope this makes sense,)
It is growing up waiting for the day when get to be pregnant.
It is having the feeling and the desire to be a parent, then having a doctor tell you it won't happen.
It is looking at your husband and hoping that your children have his eyes and crooked grin.
It is buying cases of pregnancy tests, but never seeing that second line.
It is buying baby things for other people but never buying things for the baby you don't know will ever come.
It is planning for years how you are going to tell your husband you are pregnant.
It is going in for your "annual" and walking out in tears because everyone in the waiting room is pregnant and you don't understand.
It is having people who don't know you or your situation tell you, too just relax and it will happen.
It is waiting until you and your husband are ready, to find out you've waisted money on birth control.
It is giving away all of your condoms to your newly married friends, and knowing you'll never have to make that purchase again.
It is going and buying things for your baby that is due in 2 weeks and buying tampons for yourself at the same time.
It is laughing outside, and wanting to kick there knees, when you are sick and a co-worker asks if your pregnant.
It is family asking you what you are waiting for, you're not getting any younger.
It is your little sister assuming that your husband doesn't want kids.
It is hearing your birth mother in labor and being jealous that you will never know what she is feeling, and amazed that after going through that pain she loves that baby enough to place them in your arms.
Some parts of infertility are really kind of ironic, and funny. Some parts are overwhelming and emotional and anyone who deals with this deals on a different level at different times.
But if infertility is the road that got us to Charlee and the price we had to pay to have her in our home, I am okay with God's Practical Joke.