Monday, January 19, 2009

Sometimes to get where we want to be, we have to let go of where we've been

This morning I am going into my office and letting them know I will not be returning to work.  As much as I have dreamed and hoped for this day thinking it would be amazing,  I realize how hard it is.  It is hard to say good bye to something I dedicated my time and myself to.  I don't want to let go of the things I have accomplished and the progress I had made at my job.  

The position I had was in the Credit/Finance department.  In a nutshell my job was to make sure we were getting paid on a timely manner.  It wasn't my job to collect the money it was my job to make sure the money was getting collected.  So I worked closely with the sales associates and the customers to make this work.  It was not an easy thing and to say my work load was a little aggressive is an understatement.  There was always dead lines and cut off, things that made me crazy and stressed, but I loved it.  I was always challenged.  And when things worked out and it showed in the numbers there was a feeling of accomplishment.  This last fiscal year I won a Corporate Award for the work I had done, something that took years to accomplish.
It is just hard to say good bye to the good people I worked with and the friends I made.  Probably, because I know that things will never be the same.  Which is okay things are different.  I just hope I took enough of it in, and I learned all I could.  I never want to have any regrets in how I handled things and the decisions I made.  All last year while we were in the finding/waiting part of adoption I kept telling Karst that we we needed so soak it in and appreciate it because once we had a baby our lives wouldn't be the same.  

Today, I see my yesterdays of phone calls, meetings, reports, numbers, and too many files, and I look at my tomorrows and see diapers, bottles, little fingers, dark curly hair and big blue eyes and I am ready to cross the street to take on the next path of my life.


*~*kamie*~* said...

Aww... she is so sweet!

Yes, definitely bitter-sweet.
Oh how things change!

Sarah said...

I've been there...You are an amazing mommy! Take of you and that adorable baby!

Stormy said...

Thanks for sharing, Kim. I've been there and in once sense I was totally ready and in another I was nervous and scared. It's a little different for everyone.

I just want to tell you to be patient with yourself and remember the years it took to earn that corporate award? will take years to develop ALL of the skills and responsibilities as a mother. Maybe by the time we're done we'll be up for that Mother of the Year award!

p.s. I've already disqualified myself for 2009--and it's only January!

The May Family said...

Oh my Gosh. I can't believe how big she is getting. Isn't it so much fun? She is such a cutie. I never did go back to work after he was born either.... but honestly, I don't regret it for even a second. Motherhood is the best thing in the world.

Vanessa Shannon said...

She will appreciate your sacrifice and not even know it some day. Its the best thing you could have done for her....You'll be great and if you ever feel the need to earn money, you can always come over and cut my hair :)

Leisha said...

I am so glad you were able to cross the street. Before you know it you'll be wondering what you ever loved about all of the meetings, reports, phone calls. . .OK, maybe not the phone calls since it is always nice to talk to someone but you know what I mean :-)