This morning I am going into my office and letting them know I will not be returning to work. As much as I have dreamed and hoped for this day thinking it would be amazing, I realize how hard it is. It is hard to say good bye to something I dedicated my time and myself to. I don't want to let go of the things I have accomplished and the progress I had made at my job.
The position I had was in the Credit/Finance department. In a nutshell my job was to make sure we were getting paid on a timely manner. It wasn't my job to collect the money it was my job to make sure the money was getting collected. So I worked closely with the sales associates and the customers to make this work. It was not an easy thing and to say my work load was a little aggressive is an understatement. There was always dead lines and cut off, things that made me crazy and stressed, but I loved it. I was always challenged. And when things worked out and it showed in the numbers there was a feeling of accomplishment. This last fiscal year I won a Corporate Award for the work I had done, something that took years to accomplish.
It is just hard to say good bye to the good people I worked with and the friends I made. Probably, because I know that things will never be the same. Which is okay things are different. I just hope I took enough of it in, and I learned all I could. I never want to have any regrets in how I handled things and the decisions I made. All last year while we were in the finding/waiting part of adoption I kept telling Karst that we we needed so soak it in and appreciate it because once we had a baby our lives wouldn't be the same.
Today, I see my yesterdays of phone calls, meetings, reports, numbers, and too many files, and I look at my tomorrows and see diapers, bottles, little fingers, dark curly hair and big blue eyes and I am ready to cross the street to take on the next path of my life.