Re-Run

Who doesn't like a good Re-Run? So I came across what I think is one of my funniest posts, and to my astonishment there was only 1 comment. So I am thinking all my devote readers had missed this post. Here is your second chance . . . and yes I need to hear your comments or my feelings might be hurt.

So this weeks Wacky Wednesday, a fact that many of you know about me, if you have ever gone anywhere with me:

I AM A KLUTZ!!

Not just a bump into things or knock things over. I am the down on the ground, skirt over my head, knee-bleeding klutz. I haven’t narrowed down the problem. I blame it on not paying attention to where I am going, and trying to get there too quickly. (However, I am proud to say I have never peed my pants when I have fallen, unlike someone I know.)

Here are some great examples of past Klutzings:

¨ I am about 14 years old, at home and it is dark. So I am walking to the bathroom and trying to figure out why I can’t see the window in the bathroom, and I am walking and walking and “ouch” I walked straight into the door, and bounced back in shock.

¨ I was again at home and I talking on the phone, back in the olden days when the phone was attached to the wall and there was a handset attached to the cord so you couldn’t really go too far. Anywho, I am talking and playing with a rubber band, ( I know you can see it coming.) So while I am talking I put the rubber band over the door handle of the sliding glass door and I am looking at it and getting it straight and “flip” “ouch” and I was hit square on the forehead. The funny thing, I was surprised that happened. Then of course I had to tell my friend that I was talking to on the phone what I did, which made me feel more gifted and talented.

¨ So our current home, also has a sliding glass door, (but we have “banned” the rubber bands, because those are dangerous), More than once I would walk out onto the deck with out noticing that screen, I would walk right into it. I did it so much I bent the screen frame and we had to take it off.

¨ I lit my bed on fire when I was 16 while I was trying to light a candle, and didn’t notice until the smoke alarm went off.

¨ I have closed a door on my skirt, kept walking and didn’t notice until I heard the “rip” sound.

See why I don’t have pictures, now that really would be embarrassing.

So when Karst and I were dating I somehow was able to camouflage my klutziness (not that I hid it, but you know love is blind), and Karst was totally caught off guard when he realized it. Here is the story:

· Day 3 of our honeymoon. The day we are camping. We are unloading the truck and getting camp set up and of course there is a fire pit in the middle of the campsite, (no there is no flame). I was carrying a cooler and I tripped and fell into the fire pit, Karst, concerned and worried about his beautiful bride, he drops the box he is carrying, runs over, tries to help me up and is brushing the ashes off my leg. Asking if I am all right, tells me I should sit down for a minute. Me? What I am doing? Laughing. So I assure him I am okay, so about 2 trips later I do it again, he is like are you serious at that point I am banned to the camp chair and not allowed to help unload the truck. (I know bummer deal.)

So fast-forward about 2 years, and Karst now knowing my klutzy secret:

¨ We are downtown walking in front of the mall; I trip and fall on to the ground. Karst looks down and casually says, “what are you doing on the ground, again, Kim?”. So what does that tell you? He has come to expect the falling and the klutiness. Theses days, he will notice a bruise or a scrape and he’ll say; “falling again, huh.” He has accepted this as a part of life.

Needless to say I think I have learned the art of being a Klutz and by following these simple rules you too can embrace your klutziness and look forward to your next “incident.”

1) Even if you don’t’ feel surprised you should, act surprised. You don’t want people to think you planned it. Plus surprised is a better way to act then embarrassed.

2) Don’t look around to see if anyone saw, because then you will see them and know that they saw. It is just better to pretend no one saw and you can go on with your day like nothing happened.

3) Laugh, Laugh and keep laughing all the way to the ice machine and Tylenol. If you cry people will ask you what is wrong and then you’ll have to tell them, and they will get the laugh.

4) And this is serious, tested, tried and proven. Just relax. When you are walking down the flight of stairs in your heels, drinking your Dr.Pepper talking on the phone and you start to fall don’t grab onto the hand rail or wall and try to stop yourself, just relax your muscles and they will take care of you. The tenser you are when you hit the bottom (or your bottom, ha ha) the more it will hurt. So again just relax and enjoy the ride.

P.S No bones or stitches have been incurred because of a klutzy moves, so I can highly recommend these rules.