Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Birth Mothers Decisions

So I woke up this morning thinking about birth moms, the girls who find themselves pregnant, and find themselves facing many decisions. I thought about how ironic that discovering your pregnant means different things for different people, depending on where they are in life.  Yet regardless of your situation it doesn't change the fact that now you are responsible for the life of some one else, some one who doesn't have a voice, some one who can't help make any of the decisions, some one who is 100% helpless and is counting on you for their survival.

There are so many decisions for birth moms to make, and everyone has an opinion, but no one can take that responsibility from her. No one can make the decision for her, at the end of the pregnancy whatever her decision is, she will live with that for the rest of her life.   Wouldn't it be wonderful if when you were facing any life changing decisions, if you could look 5 years into the future and see how each option would change your life so you could compare the realities?  If only,  there was a way to know how things would really turn out?  But that doesn't exist, so all that these girls have when they are making these decisions is their heart. When people share their opinion about what someone should or shouldn't do, it is just that, an opinion.  Only you know what is best for you and the baby, and only you know what you can and can't live with for the rest of your life.

A hard thing for me, is I hurt for them but I can't help them. I have great sympathy for them, I care and worry about them, and all I can do is pray for them that they will find a light, and strength to get through this, that they
 will find the inner strength they need to endure this.  

One of the reason's we choose to go through LDS Family Services is because they are there for the birth parents.  They offer free consoling to any birth parent regardless of her situation, her beliefs or the decision she makes.  They counsel and help not only those that place, but those who choose to adopt and those who choose to parent, even those who choose to terminate a pregnancy.  

The first meeting we had with them, it was made clear to the adoptive parents that they are there for the birth parents to help them make the decisions that are right for them.  They believe in free agency and that the girls have the right to make the decisions they need, and LDSFS is there to give them all the information and support they need.  The fact that they respect these girls and want them to make the decision for themselves and they are their to help them no matter which decision they make is really why we choose to use them as our agency.  It is important to me that the birth parents have all the help and support they need.  It doesn't change the decision they have to make, it doesn't change how hard it is, but at least they have someone who has all the information to talk to. Someone that is their for them.  

This is a blog of a birth mom, who had parented one child and recently placed a baby for adoption.  This is a blog of a family that adopted last year.  They just show 
such a different side of things  and  the blogs shed a different light on the picture then I could ever do.

Like I said the only thing I can do is pray for these girls, that they will find peace and joy in whatever decision they choose to live with for the rest of their lives.  So to  all of you we have brought into our adoption journey, we ask that you pray for these girls, pray that they will have the strength and guidance to endure this.  Heavenly Father knows these valiant women, He  knows their child and knows what needs to happen, we just need to show our faith in Him and pray that the heart of those who make these decisions is open to receiving his love and guidance.


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