Wednesday, September 7, 2011

\ˈgilt\


Definition of GUILT

1
: the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty; broadly : guilty conduct
2
a : the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously
b : feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy : self reproach
3
: a feeling of culpability for offenses


This word is too much a part of my life.  Everywhere I look, or go I feel the GUILT.  Uggh!  I can't tell you how much I hate this.  Well I am done with this!  GUILT is not my friend, and I really don't have time or energy to have it in my life.

Before I can get rid of GUILT, I have to get rid of PERFECTIONISM.  If I didn't have an unhealthy belief in perfectionism, GUILT wouldn't hang around me.

Sure I could list here the things that are weighing on my mind that are causing me GUILT, but really what good would that do?

So here I will just put my apology.  To all those who I have let down, who are waiting for me or wanting something for me, who I have let down or disappointed.  I am deeply sorry. I am sorry I couldn't live up to your expectations. I am sorry I let you down.

GUILT won't leave me if I keep feeding it.  NO MORE.  I will do what I can.  I will do what is reasonable and leave the craziness of being perfect alone.

One step at a time, one task at a time I will move forward.  I will get where I need to be, but it will be slower and it will NOT be PERFECT.  I have kicked GUILT out of my car, I am picking up my friend JOY.

EnJOYing the moments!

5 comments:

Vanessa Shannon said...

Oh Kim, I feel your pain here! I was just discussing this same thing with someone yesterday. How I feel guilty no matter what I do! Even when I am the one who was hurt or offended I somehow find a way to feel guilty for some aspect of it. I wish I knew how to quit it. Good luck!!

Nathan said...

I have to write something, or else I feel guilty :) It's a constant struggle to reach "perfection". And the closer we get to it the further away we realize it is. Keep up the climb, enjoy the journey, and don't get worn down.

Tonya said...

Yes, get rid of guilt. Take on nagging. It's more fun and gets you just about as far.

Every Family has a Story..Welcome to Ours said...

Oh Kim I also hear you... I am proud of you. I am 2 years out of that mindset and it is really freeing. From time to time I think about the old me and wonder if it is wrong to have given up perfectionism but it only lasts a minute of two and then I realize the weight I felt with it and I know everyone loves me at least the same if not more because I am happier. #1 rule in my life do Not under any circumstances apologize or defend who you are! This is really hard and I have to work on it everyday but it is totally the right thing to do. Love you to death I am glad you picked up Joy and share these moments with Charlie you won't get them back. :)

Anonymous said...

Your posts here are so inspiring. Seeing some new posts would be great.