Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Parenting

 I just can't wait for that experience!!

This has been on my mind a lot lately, a few weeks ago when we had girls camp, I couldn't help but look at the older girls and see where they are after the last 6 years.  There was 4 of them that had there first year when it was my first year as a leader, and they were scared and cried a lot!!  They would cry if they didn't like the food, at the snipe hunt, if they were too hot or too cold. There was 2 who were joined at the hip and if you tried to separate them to do activities, oh the drama!!  As the years went, if they got unhappy at camp they would just call their parents to come and get them.  It wasn't just girls camp it was like this for a lot of activities.  

I had been out of young women's for 18 months and man, every thing changed so much the sweet innocent beehives were now crusty giving obnoxious mia maids with little attitudes, and the old mia maids who made me crazy are now these great leaders.  There confidence level is higher, they are more accepting of the other girls.  At camp I really got to see this when these now oldest girls didn't even have to be in the same tent together, and they figured out the tent assignments and even made everyone happy.  AMAZING!!  Then they were so helpful and kind to the first year campers and  they hugged them when they cried and got them to participate in  activities that they took charge of.   My heart was so full, and I was so grateful that I had the opportunity to see the butterfly's emerge.

I have learned about being a parent from them.  I learned that the girl they are today is not going to be the girl they will be tomorrow and just because blue has been there favorite color for the last 3 years tomorrow it might be yellow, you just can't predict what will change.  I learned that they don't respond well, when they are talked to like they are 10, but talk to them on our your level and they get more involved.  I learned that they have an opinion and don't need to be asked to share it. They have great ideas, I love hearing there ideas and thoughts on things.  I have learned that they might have deep desires and beliefs, but that friend acceptance can sometimes be more important.  They have such fragile feelings, but deep and real feelings that demand respect.  And most of all, you can never show them enough love and attention.  

One of the hardest things, is when there parents don't give them the attention they needed.  You see the mother push them away because they are too busy and so the girl will go and find acceptance somewhere else.  I just want to shake a few moms and say look, look at your daughter look who she is now, look at what she will be, look at how much she needs you, right now.  Put down your stupid cell phone and talk to your daughter.  

It has been great to see many of them go out and live there dreams, to watch them find someone, get married and start families of there own.  To watch them go to school and achieve their dreams.  To be involved in a small part of their lives, has changed my life and the parent I will be.  

Karst, has been involved with the Young Men also, and last week 3 of them, he had been with since they were deacons were just sustained as elders.  He has watched them work for and achieve their Eagle, he has taken them up to his beloved Camp New Fork to help them have life changing experiences.  Being involved with the scouting and the YM side has soften his heart, he is such a great teacher and leader.  He is so patient with them and so accepting of them, just by being himself.  He taught them how to be leaders, how to reach out to others, how to make a difference.  He would do anything for those boys, but when the girls are around, he would move heaven and earth for them.  When one of the 12 year old  girls tilted her head and gave him the puppy eyes and asks to drive his truck and he handed her the keys, and got in on the passenger side.  He has no hope with our daughters, he is going to be putty in their hands.

I know a few hours a week is nothing compared to parenthood, and I say bring it on.  I want the chaos and the drama, I want our world to be turned upside down.  I think we might have grown up enough to be ready to be humbled by our children.  (Easy to say now.)

No news on the adoption front yet, but we are still working on it and letting everyone we can know about our dream!!

1 comment:

Vanessa Shannon said...

You are going to be a GREAT mom... I cant wait to hear the news that it is happening!